Welcome to the You Should Write About That blog. Or should I say welcome back? I’m torn.
Many of you (presumably most of you at this point) have been longtime followers who probably noticed my lengthy absence, and have undoubtedly noticed a major change in the aesthetics of my site (and the fact that I un-published something like 85 posts). I certainly don’t want to diminish your loyalty and past readership.
On the other hand, things have change a lot. I’ve changed a lot, and I’m not really interested in revisiting the past. This is a good thing. It’s a great thing, actually. I’m ready to move on.
So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to list 9 things that have happened to me lately, and within those 9 things, I’ll sneak in a few updates. Then we’ll move on. I wish I could promise laughter and amusement, but I’m a bit rusty. I can’t guarantee anything more that minor amusement.
I win at life. And even though Jesse Eisenberg managed to make him look like a less-than-savory guy, I sincerely like almost everything out of Mark Zuckerberg’s mouth these days, so I’m extra-happy he took the time to appreciate my thoughts. Also, I love Jesse Eisenberg. (No hard feelings, man.)
On a related note, should Zuckerberg happen to like something you post, be prepared to field a lot of questionable friend requests.
8. Watched a lot of new series on Netflix. (Is it series or serieses? They both sound wrong.)
A few years back I did this whole post about television and how much I loved my DVR and how I never, ever wanted to be without it. Well, yeah. That didn’t go exactly as planned. When I wrote that, I had a lovely and cost-effective internet-based cable plan that was working out quite nicely for me. Then I moved into a location where said service is not available, despite having been informed that it was.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t have moved or anything if I’d known, but it would’ve been nice to have been provided with the correct information prior to taking out a mortgage and uprooting my children and unknowingly committing myself to a DVR-free life. Anyway, I figured I’d get satellite service or something, but then weeks turned to months and then a year and a half and eventually I realized I’m pretty fond of not shelling out an extra $150 a month for television, and that I can get along quite nicely with Netflix and Hulu and HBO Now for the months when Silicon Valley and Game of Thrones are on. Perhaps one day, when I’m enjoying the lucrative lifestyle so commonly associated with mediocre blogging, I’ll get it back.
I watched all of Mad Men, which I quite enjoyed from about halfway through season 2 to about season 5. It was pretty great and all, but I cannot be alone in thinking it was awfully slow. I also learned that one should never say anything bad about this show to my mom, because she’s insanely defensive of it and you’ll really upset her. SHE LIVED IT, you guys. She lived it.
I also watched Parks and Rec in its entirety and have found myself wondering what I ever did without Ron Swanson in my life. And Burt Macklin. And I stopped halfway through that last sentence to order a Mouse Rat shirt. Really.
Of course I’ve already mentioned Game of Thrones, which I was determined not to watch but then got talked into watching and starting liking. And Silicon Valley, which is fantastic despite my needing to stop to look up things like VC and NFC and… router.
Oh, and then there’s Stranger Things and Narcos and Making a Murderer and A Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu, not Netflix or HBO) and Black Mirror and Master of None and The People Vs. O.J. Simpson.
And I guess I also watched that Amanda Knox documentary, which was basically a lot of… meh because I just can’t really care about the whole Amanda Knox thing, except of course that it’s terrible that a life was lost and no one deserves that. And I watched 13th which was the opposite of… meh.
Maybe I don’t win at life as much as I imagined. Because apparently, I don’t have one.
7. Made these chalkboard countertops. By myself.
A permanent place to leave your kids snarky messages? Sign me up. And suck it, Pinterest people, I did NOT follow your rules and they turned out just fine.
6. Turned 38.
In 2016. Which was like eight months ago. But don’t worry, I just spent half of my morning looking up memes, then had Easy Mac and candy for lunch, then changed into a Pusheen shirt and blogged about Neflix. Clearly, this number is meaningless.
5. Made another career change.
I’m sure my tendency to write consistently, then disappear and go back to work, then write consistently, then disappear and go back to work makes me appear somewhat flaky. I swear I’m not. I had a job for a year, then left to address some personal issues, then went back and stayed at that same job for another 2+ years. I quite loved that job and I am in reality, quite a hard worker. The thing is, the company was in a longterm stalemate with promotions and there was just nowhere for me to go. When I learned that this stalemate was indefinite and there was absolutely no guarantee I wouldn’t still be in the same position for another two years, I moved on to a successful career as a professional Nothing who specializes in Nothing. Turns out this is an ideal fit for my college degree in Nothing with an emphasis in Nothing. But mostly I took the position because as it just so happens, out no one wants to hire someone without a degree and a resume that shows no growth. So yeah, this blog is it right now, which is great because I get to set my own hours and it pays nothing. And the benefits are terrible.
4. Discovered Podcasts.
This is not entirely true. I knew they existed. In fact, back when Lost was still a thing and a big deal, I used to listen to the official Lost podcast on a regular basis. But then that ended (and not so well, if I do say so myself) and it never really occurred to me to listen to any others.
Well, a few months ago my sister was visiting and she enthusiastically suggested I listen to My Favorite Murder and Dumb People Town and The Last Podcast on the Left and a few others I can’t recall. I didn’t think much of it until later that night (after locking myself out of my garage and having a lovely chat about home inspections with Steve the Lyft driver) when I met up with a friend who also enthusiastically suggesting I listen to My Favorite Murder and The Last Podcast on the Left and a few others I can’t recall.
Then even later that same night my sister texted me and said something like, Ok, I’m not weird, but I was profile stalking your friend because she checked in with you a The Shins concert and she’s organizing a My Favorite Murder meet up!!! I don’t remember exactly how she put it because I don’t have that phone anymore, but I figured if they were both that excited about these podcasts, I should probably give them a shot.
And now I’m obsessed with podcasts, which is great because it’s kind of like watching TV when I have to do anything that’s not watching TV. I find that alternating them with audio books, something I was already all about, is a lovely way to spend a TV-free afternoon. You know, when you’re waiting for it to be late enough in the day for TV to be that socially acceptable activity you did after you did all your adulting.
3. Realized the most exciting part of my life is entertainment-based.
This was supposed to be a top 10 list, but I couldn’t come up with 10 things, so it’s a top 9 list. And of those 9, two are about things other people created that I watched or listened to. And one of them is me realizing this.
How bad have things gotten? Well, the other night I was stopped at an intersection and caught the guy in the next car staring at me intently. I bet you’re asking yourselves, Why was this guy staring? Were you doing something exciting? No. No, I was not. I was shoveling a TastyKake chocolate pie in my face out of guilt over having spent too much money at Target on things like Game of Thrones socks, while listening to a murder podcast. And I actually thought to myself, Self, this is what’s become of you. You’re eating a crappy 2 for dollar chocolate pie at a stoplight while listening to a murder podcast.
Then I waited until the staring guy turned onto another road and shoved the second chocolate pie in my face.
P.S. I just remembered I bought the Game of Thrones socks on a different Target trip, but left it in the story anyway because I think it really adds something. Maybe I should’ve kept that job.
2. Revamped a few old posts.
Here’s where things get exciting!
Just kidding. I mean, things are okay, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say they’re exciting. In light of the million degree temperatures, my murdery, chocolate-pie-filled brain and I figured it might be kind of fun to take some older, summer-themed posts and updated them, then repost. I can do that, because I am the boss of what I write. So, if this splendid update isn’t to your liking, perhaps you can go out to the main page and check those out.
1. Got married.
Fact. I got married three weeks ago to the greatest human ever. I mean, this guy even managed to tactfully quote Ron Swanson in his vows. He’s a keeper and my best friend, and I don’t just say that the way couples say they’re each others’ best friend, but really have other friends they like more in a friend way.
I posted a few photos below for your enjoyment.
Yes, that is the real, unedited sunset. And yes, he is really tall.
My sister sent me this one a few hours ago. I love it. I feel like it gives me some street cred or something. You know, about as much street cred as a $34 dress from Modcloth and a couple of middle-class, suburban tattoos can have.
Speaking of middle class suburban, here’s me with a Starbucks cup about 2 minutes before I spilled coffee on my $34 Modcloth dress with mad street cred.
Thanks, everyone. I’m glad to be back.